You may have been reading the latest about Rob Bell's new book "Love Wins," which questions the idea of a literal hell. That said, you can only imagine the onslaught of finger pointing and name calling that has taken place on the internet, in the name of God. A friend of mine lost his position of pastor over changes in his theology. And, I believe this sort of thing has only just begun. This is not a new discussion, but we now have the internet where a person's face or story can circle the globe in minutes. There has never been a time where we can become so divided, so quickly. I also think that this gives us a great opportunity. We could behave in a life-giving manner, and love one another within the discussion. Within the discussion. We have a choice in this discussion. What kind of people do we want to be?
In work as a chaplain, I am often in the midst of death. Families choose how they want to be in the midst of dying. When loss happens, there are many underlying emotions of which we are often unaware. On the surface can be sadness, but underneath can be strong emotions such as; guilt, helplessness, or isolation. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. in her book, On Death and Dying, describes 5 stages of grief that people often experience: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. People experiencing loss of any sort can experience these stages - and they do not necessarily come in order as Kubler-Ross initially thought.
Watching the fire storm surrounding Bell's book, I considered the varied reaction as descriptive of the stages of grief. I have noticed, when confronted with doctrines that oppose the ones in which we believe, we often can be seen living out of one of these stages of grief. Sometimes we get angry. We see this in many of the posts that rail against the book - sometimes before it is even read by the blogger. Some people get into bargaining - trying to make the new doctrine a little easier to swallow, perhaps trying to mold it into an existing doctrine we have believed for years. For some, depression sets in and the conversation becomes overwhelming because the risk seems so very high. Finally, there is acceptance, either of staying with the doctrine of our past, or changing to a new belief. On the surface of the argument, we can see anger or defensiveness, but underneath can be strong emotions such as inadequacy, hurt or insignificant. Working through this can be some of the hardest work in our lives, and with it carries a risk of losing one's tribe, one's community. Perhaps this is the greatest fear of all.
So, how do we want to be in this discussion? Each of us is at a different place in regards to our theology. In this instance, we may believe in a literal hell, or not. For me, the question of what we believe is less important than how will we choose to be with each other within this discussion. Will we choose to see others (those who oppose the doctrines of our youth or those who do not accept our new theological place) as fellow travelers? Will we choose compassion or defensiveness? Curiousity or anger? Some are scared that something sacred is being compromised. Others may be excited because they are in a new place. Many may be too overwhelmed to even talk about it. None of these people are any less our brothers and sisters. None of these are any less people of God. It seems as if we must consider how we choose to be within the discussion, and choose to communicate in a life giving way, that love might really win.
