One of the “stresses” in my life is when things don’t go my way. Yes, it is true: my preferred way of life is this: I like life to go along as I want it to go. That said, neither my mind nor my body “stress out” every time things go other than expected. In fact I have learned to often go with the flow. However, there are a few areas that I still seem to hold on to – tightly - as if holding on (til my knuckles turn white) might “will” them to go my way. Instead it seems as if the simple act of hanging on to them so tightly is what actually brings the stress.
Stress is something we all feel at times. There is good stress – the kind that tells you not to stick your hand in a beehive or to not drive your car (at least too long) on “empty.” The body sends alerts to keep us safe. Information comes from our minds to the rest of the body. Our body follows the commands of the mind just the way it was created to do. The body does not know the difference between a true emergency (one where there is an actual, physical emergency at hand) and one that is a “perceived” emergency. Our body simply reacts to our mind’s cues. Our mind tells our body to be afraid, and it obeys by tensing up, breaking out in a sweat, or running away. Or our mind tells our body to get excited about warm chocolate chip cookies as our mouth begins to water or getting on a roller coaster at the amusement park. (And for some, the latter would be a case of fear rather than excitement!) Then there is the “bad” stress, the kind that can send our minds and our bodies down a large metaphoric vortex (that seems to have a strange “sucking” sound …sort of like a vacuum…) and lands us in a place that is really, REALLY uncomfortable. Sometimes it is hard to get out of that place, because frankly, we aren’t sure what sent us there~ Regardless of what put us there, we can start to see how important it is to pay attention to what we are thinking.
Our mind’s cues come from our life experience: things we have learned from our family, culture, education, religion, or the streets. It includes the people we have known, situations that have happened to us, our friends, family, or what we heard or watched through media. It is everything we have experienced, whether we “remember” it or not: 24-7, 365 days a year for life.
We are aware of many things. For example we might like Thai cuisine over pizza, and if we think about it, we might see how this could impact the restaurant we frequent. We may realize that we tend to be on the liberal or conservative side of things, and that tendency informs us how we are apt to vote. Then there are the things we do not realize we know. Experiences that we either do not remember for whatever reason, or we do not consider terribly important to our daily life. If we are parents, perhaps we do not realize our way of parenting is directly impacted by how we were parented. Why might we be fond of going to the State Fair? Why get so angry when someone cuts us off in traffic? Why does the smell of a bonfire ignite certain emotions? We are not always aware of how these responses are informed by our “life experiences.” But we can be assured, that these thoughts DO impact our life.
Today, I challenge you to take note of a thought or a response you experience. Get in a place where you are able to be quiet and begin to wonder why it is that you responded as you did. Begin to practice attending to thoughts you experience or responses you note. See where it leads. You might find it eye-opening.
